Buliding Myself Once Again

I just wanna write. I just wanna let it all out. The feelings inside of me. The anxieties seeping through me, the fears, hesitations, power, drive and everything in between. I've seen people who seem to have been living their life. I just see myself from them, I see a part of me living life, the parties, travels and everything underneath. But below the surface lies a soul unaware of the other meaning of living. A soul who wished how he could have done less of the initial meaning of 'living'(parties, travels) and more of focus on the latter.. What's missing in every individual? Each distinct being has his own missing living, the one that makes each and every one of us step out of our comfort zone. For some, It may be making an effort to phone call an unloveable brother. Could be having to sit all day and study by himself for another. Resisting an unwanted lover just for the other. Controlling temper for some. Sending a thoughtful gift for another and so much more.. I just hope I don't sound bitter from my words. Maybe I am, but I'm glad I still think that I'm living my life. That even if it sucks to say that my life right now doesn't seem exciting like before, I'm totally happy. I'm happy cause I witness the growth in me. That I get to envision something out of the glorious plan he has. And when I remember what my Dad used to say: ' The beauty of Life is it's uncertainty', my bones are filled with chills. Chills of hope and joy.