Clear vs Blur

It's 3am and everything blur is struggling to be clear again. Before some incident, things used to seem clear enough and I could feel bliss at that time. I forgot how blissful I was, all I remember was security and a 100% confidence from what I have. Some things just tend to slip away. It's right when they tell you, ' If you don't use it. you lose it'. So I'm trying my best to use my abilities now even if I am actually in 'hibernation'.

I dream to myself about how my passion changed me. As I would better like not to admit it, Yes I was academically a mediocre before I stepped into my career. Even if I knew my dream at a young age, struggling for academic excellence did not capture my attention as I became more interested in the said 'big rocks' in life. Little did I know that 'Big rocks are composed of small rocks', and this was soon realized only until I started applying for scholarships for College.

I wanted to attend a University even before I got myself a diploma in a vocational course. Of course, attending the course was never a regret even if it took me into several anomaly situations. Making this decision will forever be relative to whoever I'm talking to and the real reason should be forever kept from the public from this day on.

I start to realize how I wear masks after all I experienced and the people I met too. I can't hide how I was different from the people I was dealing with, but fortunate enough I met a few good people who share the same with me, and Yes finally I get to say that I am thankful for having met them. After much more unfortunate than fortunate events, slowly I began to have my own preferences in life and this actually gave me my identity.

This identity of mine still is 'under construction'- it is still building itself but like an architect, I have yet to promise a better me. Time takes it all, it rebuilds everything that was torn and broken. The blurness should soon be erased and hopefully everything would be clear again.